Early in sobriety I got a dog named Sober,

I was going to teach him how to follow me all over.

I scolded and pled, I tried to make a deal,

But that dog wanted none of it he simply would not heel.

I always hoped that one day Sober would follow me,

But that's just not how it works, that I've come to see.

So if you struggle to get Sober, the future isn't grim,

Just get used to the idea that you'll be chasing him!