There once was a man named Mel,

Whose job was to ring the church bell.

He knew all that liquor was making him sicker,

And the doctor told him, “It's bad for your ticker.”

Old Mel came around for a while,

But he said this just isn't my style,

Another humdinger and I'm shaking my finger,

“If you don't stop your drinking, you'll be a dead ringer.”